The Flatmen

The Flatmen #

Humans, Ogres, Monkeys, Trolls, Gremlins, Elves, Dwarves, etc. all occupy 3D space. They may move in any of six directions, often simultaneously.

The Flatmen are 2D beings from a 2D world: the Flatlands. Their mere existence is limited to single planes of movement. They rotate around their up-axis to turn and dodge. Imagine getting your ass beat by a folded paper crane—that is being destroyed by the Flatmen.

They do not believe 3D space should exist, and are actively working to flatten the world around themselves.

It should be very obvious, but the concept of a STACK GANG is an affront to their very flat way of life. Due to this, the STACK GANGs and Flatmen have been at war for years. They wage proxy conflicts in the respective 2D and 3D astral planes.

Anyway, be very careful when dealing with the 2D astral and physical planes.

What could happen when dealing with the 2D physical or astral plane? (Effects last until you become 3D again.) #

  1. Become Very Flat. Reduce Skill and Stamina by half.
  2. Trapped in a 2D plane. Cannot move out of a wall, surface, floor, table, or whatever.
  3. Deli Slicer Special. This is very gross. You are shaved into thin slices of your former self. They all coexist. It’s meaty, but you’re good. D33 semi-independent slices.
  4. Flat Circle. You’ve become a flat circle. Your only Advanced Skills are: 4 Roll, 3 Slide, 4 Buzzsaw (Damage as Knife).
  5. Perspective Nightmare. Nothing makes sense anymore. You have no sense of depth. Treat your Luck as 0 while 2D.
  6. Folded and Folded and Folded and Folded. Your Stamina is tripled. You cannot move.

1 Flat Man 0x000A0000 #

Skill 12
Stamina 46
Initiative 7
Armour 3
Damage as Gigantic Beast

Mien #

  1. Watching out for geometric anachronisms.
  2. Standing guard by laying flat, irritated.
  3. Flattening a 3D object.
  4. Threatening to become 3D.
  5. Slipping through a mailbox slot.
  6. Bragging about 3D riches gained by slipping into a bank vault.

The Lookout. The Watchman. The Searcher. This Flat Man is always trying to observe as much as it can about its prey before dragging it kicking and screaming into 2D space.

This Flat Man believes the Trash Corps are its personal shock troops, surrounding itself with no less than 3d3 of them at all times.

It’s building a gateway to the 3D space, and plans to invade next Tuesday. Subjugation under a flat fist.

Special #

May teleport onto any flat surface within sight. May burst from it. Target must Test Luck or be caught by surprise.

2 Flat Man 0x000B0000 #

Skill 8
Stamina 30
Initiative 5
Armour 1
Damage as Gigantic Beast

Mien #

  1. Eating a square (literal) meal.
  2. Dislocating flat limbs like a paper doll.
  3. Rearranging their own facial features.
  4. Flipping a linoleum knife.
  5. Folding self into 3D space to cause terror in the mind of dimensional beings.
  6. Shredding a 2D being into 2D confetti.

After falling into a trash compactor, this Trashman became a Flat Man then left for the Flatlands. 0x000B0000 believes that the Trashmen will all become Flatmen, and that is how they will serve the Flat Empire.

They are plotting to flatten a STACK GANG of Trashmen to create the ultimate terror soldier: THE FLAT JACK FLAP STACK. (It’s only a rumour, but plausible in at least 3D-downshifted-to-2D astral planes.)

Special #

Can summon 1d3 Trashmen at will. They arrive instantly, so long as there’s some trash around.

Flat Man Pinup #

(imagine a pinup again, i believe in you)

3 Flat Man 0x000C0000 #

Skill 10
Stamina 15
Initiative 12
Armour 6
Damage as Gigantic Beast

Mien #

  1. Extending skull on neck like a flat diplodocus
  2. Fashioning a buzz saw.
  3. Calling the manager of the Flatlands.
  4. Tracing his name in wet porcelain.
  5. Examining a 3D corpse.
  6. Sending his consciousness into the 2D astral planes to refract into the 3D planes as “Tracey” the Flat Man—a story told in hushed tones.

0x000C0000 has mastered the art of 2Dto-3D puppetry. So long as they are nearby, they can command flat objects in other planes. Quite terrifying.

It is said that in the final battle of the Flatlands, the 6 HEAPS will die at the hands of 0x000C000.

The ensuing blood, spilled into 2D space, will cause the whole dimension to turn blood red. 0x000C000 will then become the Blood King, lord of the 2D realms and destroyer of the 3D stack titans. If this happens, the Blood King will tread into 3D space, where it will assume the highest authority and subjugate the 3D citizens.

Only a STACK GANG noise musician can stun them long enough (with a HARSH NOISE WALL) to allow anyone else to get the kill shot.

Special #

Create 1d3 Flat Puppets (Skill 2, Stamina 1, Initiative 2, Damage as Knife) on any flat surface within sight. They are bound to the surface, but attack anyone within 6’.