Backgrounds, probably

Backgrounds, probably #

1 Maurice-Fly #

A damned-good-looking gargoyle, initially sculpted into a church on an alien planet devoted to a god long since dead. Lacking a master to guard, Maurice-Fly is just looking to chill. CHILL you hear me. CHILL GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.

Possessions #

  • Overdue Payments to VHS Rental Place.
  • Black Trench Coat (+ 1 Armour). Most people think it looks cool.
  • Sunglasses (Test Luck for +1 to next one liner). Definitely worn at night.
  • 3 M-80s (as Dragon Fire). It’s like 2 sticks of dynamite.

Advanced Skills #

4 Fly
3 Turn to Stone
2 Claw Fighting (as Small Beast) 2 Spell - Make My Monsters Grow
0 Epic One Liners

Special #

Whenever Maurice-Fly lands a one-liner, they add another 1d3 Initiative Tokens to the pot.

Encounters with Maurice-Fly from Last Week #

  1. Upon visiting the local convenience store, Maurice-Fly was presented with the strangest of situations: 3 MEN were standing at the counter refusing to pay. The MAN behind the desk was preparing to press the “security” button. Assuming this were all to unfold, the 3 MEN are armed with gun-swords (as Fusil or Sword) and the MAN behind the desk has nothing but a 4-legged, 1-tailed cat demon (as Tiger). If the button is pressed, “Pretty Galactic Defender Sailor Andromeda” shows up. Their identity is always in flux, so literally take ANY stat block (legit use any bestiary entry, they are NOW wearing the mantle) and give them the power to channel old DVD CGI (as FEAR) viciously.
  2. Now having quenched their thirst, and likely having snacked on some assailants, Maurice-Fly wanted to go down to the local creek to bask in the sun and wet their wings. Upon getting in, a giant face made of water and static electricity emerged. If Maurice-Fly were perhaps able to transport 3 water buffalo along the creek to the adjoining town, the deity might give them the ability to conjure water at will. Also the deity might sink any boats used in the process.
  3. Sopping wet, Maurice-Fly decided it was time to hit up a local nightclub called “The Furious Worm Tavern.” Inside, a bunch of Worm-Hawk Riders (Skill: 8 Stamina: 10 Armour: 2 Initiative:3 Damage as Spear) are arguing about how long each could last on the creek. Two bandits (Skill:4 Stamina: 6 Initiative:2 Armour:0 Damage as Hammer) are trying to steal the drink of a Worm-Hawk Rider. Of course, this is a diversion: upstairs, a warlock is trying to reestablish the dominion of Ur-Gnash (the god of Maurice-Fly) and start a terraforming campaign that will sink the surface and turn trees to stone.

2 Infinitra #

A pirate who found a way to jump from painting to painting. She learned it from a video game. No, not the one you’re thinkingーmultiple games have painting jumping, deal with it. Something something booty? Oh yeah, she was also trapped in encyclopedia software in a library in downtown Vancouver BC. Doesn’t make sense to me. Shouldn’t to you, either.

Possessions #

  • Curved Pirate Sword (as Sword). Gonna give you a big ouchie.
  • Flintlock Night Pirate Pistol (as Pistolet). Goes boom boom boom.
  • Pirate Armor (+1 Armour). Looks pretty good.
  • Boat (usable as second Inventory, same rules, blah, blah).

Advanced Skills #

3 Pistol Fighting
2 Sword Fighting
2 Shanties (as Secret Language)
2 Pixel Cloaking 2 Split in Two (lasts 1d3 rounds, Tokens work for either)

Special #

Test Luck to disguise yourself as impressionist art (only works near paintings of boats, doesn’t have to be a good boat).

Things Found in the Lake of that Public Domain Painting Above Her in That Image #

  1. Oar (as Club).
  2. Hat for the sun (+3 Armour vs light attacks. Ya this includes lasers. Immune to color spray.).
  3. Sausages made from reeds (as Provisions).
  4. Damn-good-looking vest (no effect).
  5. Bottle of turpentine .
  6. Ad-blocker: Test Luck to ignore the effects of anything. You’re still subject to Damage, etc., but it won’t hurt or interrupt or knock you over.

3 Ox-Marrow Tooth-Puller Ur-Thraka, Esq #

Clearly a lawyer, diplomat, fast talker. One of those types. When he’s not partying down and laying down the law, he’s breaking jaws and spinning eurodance parties? 2 dimensional? Kind of, but he likes it that way. Also, he gets incredibly swol’, so watch out. It fuels him.

Possessions #

  • Mace (as Mace, the reader should know what that is by now).
  • Leather-Covered Athletic Supporter (Armour +2). It somehow provides protection all over. Don’t look at me, I didn’t write pulp fantasy novels.
  • Mixtape with the Omen III on it: the sequel to a dance track so good that there were 3 of them.

Advanced Skills #

3 Mace Fighting
3 Hearty Laughter (as Intimidation)
2 Stomp So Hard It Turns Everything Into Pixels For 1d3 Rounds
2 Get Fucking Swol’ (+2 Damage for 1d3 rounds)
2 Dancing

Special #

Whenever a target is slain while Ox-Marrow is fuckin’ swol’, put a tick on any Skill (toward Advancement).

A Bunch of Jokes (Spells) #

  1. KnockKnock (2)*: breaks a door in half. Ensuing splinters deal Damage as Knife to all nearby.
  2. A Man Walks into a Bar (4): target is forced to immediately move in the direction of caster’s choice.
  3. So 3 People, No Wait It Was 2… Wait So He Was a Plumber… no, I Forgot the Joke (4): target vanishes into thin air for 1d3 rounds.
  4. What’s That on Your Shirt (8): target glances down at their shirt and is immediately struck by concussive force (as Maul) and knocked back 1d333 feet. They can try to resist looking at their shirt for up to 1d3 rounds.
  5. *just a blank stare* (3): target is subject to darkness, silence and nausea for 3 rounds.
  6. I guess it’s not a joke, but i brought down the wrath of god, literally on someone, and I guess it’s not funny at all but it works in the context of a joke or a spell? Maybe not (16): target is immediately slain / smote. You’ll need to work with the specific deity if you want to bring said person back. I mean, it was accidental… right?
Calendar September 11, 2022